SoLo

I’m not sure where this post is headed but it may have some triggers so here is your warning.

Currently, I am laying in bed wandering if I can ever be happy, if I will ever be good enough for myself, if I can keep on going. Everything seems so impossible I haven’t showered in three days and my eating habits are terribly bad. Today I ate some jellies and that’s all. It feels like the world is against me and I am on my own. I feel as if there is nothing I can give the world and I am so hopeless. It feels so numb and empty in this body of mine.

That all said I want you all to know you are not really alone. Sure these thoughts are hard to iron out but it is definitely possible to iron them out. We are all worthy and we deserve the help we require. Yes, that help can be uber difficult to gain. Trust me I am well aware of the rollercoaster ride that is getting the correct help for your mental health, hell I’m still on it. I want everyone to know that there is support for you, that I will stand by you! I’m not saying I will fix you or that someone else can fix you but we can stick by you and aid you in fixing yourself.

Keep fighting, L. ❤

Siblings

Hey guys, long time no blog! Hope all is well. Thought I would do a post on siblings for all you eldest children out there. I know how you feel. I am the eldest of five… Yes, that is two younger brothers and two younger sisters. Huge pain.

Siblings can be the most annoying people you will ever meet. They steal your clothes, cramp your style, and get you into trouble all of the time. What is the most annoying thing about them though?

For me the worst thing about having siblings is when they gate crash all the plans I have with my parents. Anytime I want to talk to my mum about something going on in my life they have to shout louder or intrude our privacy. If I want to spend some quality time with my mum, then I will have to wait for fish to swim backwards. They would never accept being on the side lines for me to have 30 seconds in the spotlight.

Siblings… The bain of my existance.

Good luck to any of you with siblings, L.

You.

Yes, you right there. You are appreciated and loved. You may feel different right now, but you just need to continue holding on. You are wonderful and ate doing a great job. Remember to remind yourself of your true worth and how far you have come.

Appreciate yourself the way you appreciate others, L.

Time Travel

Taken at a train station on my way to Lincoln. I thought it was cute so included it because clocks are relevent to time travel of course.

A lot of the time I wish I could go back in time. Right some wrongs. Treat myself better whilst cutting some toxic people out of my life a lot quicker or not getting to a point of knowing them at all. Never quitting certain subjects and hobbies, no matter the costs. Still be with all those people I left back home that I hold so near but will never be in the same page as them ever again.

But each time I remember one thing… All of those events happened for a reason, whether I can put my thumb on it or not. Each moment has made me the person I am and got me to the places I am at today with the people who mean the world to me.

Learn from the past but look forward to the future, bitches! Love L.

P.S. This post was meant for yeterday I know. I am apparently a very forgetful being.

Today’s challenge is actually soothe, so I shall leave you with the most important soothing thing we all must do…

– Go get the hot chocolate

– Put on your comfiest pyjamas

– Find those old favourite movies

– Snuggle yourself up in all the blankies and duvets you own

– Fall asleep whilst smiling at your favourite movie moment

Sorry for being forgetful, L. ❤

Dream

I have lost sight of all my dreams at the moment. Depression is taking the hope of them being achievable away and making them become impossible. I have decided I need to find a way to take a stand against this, to make those once dreams a new reality. Honestly it will be uber difficult but we all got this! I refuse to let depression steal my imagination, my goals, my hopes, my dreams. They are going to be the thing to push me through the storms.

Make those dreams come true, L.

P.S. I’m sorry this post was late again… I had a bad day and then went out drinking. Don’t worry I am certainly paying for it now, thanks to this headache.

Better late than never

When we got back from London we took a trip to a chinese restaraunt and then saw Avengers so I only just got home… Oops. I will complete all the challenges though, I’m determined to.

So, what is on the agenda today? Hug.

J is helping me write this post by giving all the support he can via hugs. Cuddles and hugs are my all time favourite thing and never fail to make me feel better. We all deserve to be hugged at any time in our lives. They help us express ourselves in so many different ways. Hugs are there in all occassions no matter which emotions are most commonly associated. They’re absolute perfection. This is the reason I am sending virtual hugs to everyone right now.

Keep on hugging, L.

Catch Up

Due to feeling low I have missed the past few day’s posts. So I thought I would do those today as well. That means we have bravery, song, and water to complete ready for my next post, the correct one for today.

Day 23 is one of bravery. This day at work it hit me that it could be my last ever shift at the place I have worked for 3 years. Leaving this place is a huge fright but it has been brought to my attention recently that employees should be given better treatment than we were receiving, so here I am starting again. There is a lot of anxiety between leaving an old job and starting a new place, but I am stepping up and giving myself a chance I deserve.

Now for yesterday, day 24. This day was to be full of song. Initially I would have loved for this to be a great day full of singing and dancing whilst I battled through some uni work. Unfortunately, this wasn’t the case. I dipped further and laid in bed listening to sad song playlists on spotify until J came home. He hugged me until I fell asleep and helped me wake up feeling much better this morning.

Finally, we have water for day 25. J would suggest a post how we ought to drink plenty of water and stay hydrated. I’m certain he drinks too much he must be 98% water. For me water is much more though. I adore the water. Being in the water makes me feel at peace as if nothing else matters. I am really a mermaid. The water is home! Whether it be in a pool, in the ocean, or even the bath. Water is heavenly!

Peace out, L.